Thursday, October 27, 2022

The Legend of Zelda (TV Series)

THE LEGEND OF ZELDA


You know how, even as poorly made and written as they were, all of the Mario film media hit that right note of bad that I had a good time watching them anyway? Yeah, this show was not like that. I hated it. Link and Zelda are both just awful people in their own special ways, and they deserve each other. But that's not what we're here for. This show ran as part of the Super Mario Bros. Super Show, with the regular Mario episodes airing on the weekdays, and Zelda airing on Saturday. It was mostly based on the original game, with Link, Zelda, and Ganon constantly tussling over ownership of the Triforces of Wisdom and Power, with Link basically being a hired mercenary Zelda and her father brought in to protect the Triforce of Wisdom.

Link, our "hero" with a sexual harassment case coming his way any day now, can kick, use his sword and cast beams from it, throw pillows, pull from and store items in a magic pouch, swing on a rope, use a shield, swing a lasso, springboard off of things, use a whistle to summon winds, use a power bracelet and a force field ring, and surf on his shield.

Zelda, our princess who finds reasons to blame Link for things that could have never possibly been his fault in a hundred years, can likewise punch, reflect things with a pan, use magic to grow things, launch herself from a tree, use a bow, boomerang, and crossbow, raise herself up on top of the Triforce, create ice, fire, and shields with magic, and throw lemons and banana peels.

Other secondary characters include Sprite, Link's constant fairy companion who has a bit of the Tinker Bell jealousy syndrome for him, and King Harkinian, Zelda's father with the same name as the character in the CDi games. He doesn't do much here except build himself a water park, but I may go back and revisit some of the stuff from those games. He just might be the ideal candidate there.

Ganon is our main villain, here portrayed as a piglike wizard who lives in the Underworld and holds the Triforce of Power, constantly coming up with schemes to steal the Triforce of Wisdom. He is constantly teleporting, can throw lightning, summons enemies from a large jar in his lair, throws bombs, summons fire, chains up his enemies, peers into a crystal ball, uses suction, and has such magical items as the control jewel, the capture staff, and the wand of power.

Several enemies from the original game appear here, including Moblins (with staffs, bone bows, and capture staffs), Stalfos wielding bombs, Hardhat Beetles, Gohmas, Octoroks, Tektites, Zoras, Gleeoks, Gibdoes (who can turn Link into a frog apparently), Vires, Lynels, Goriyas (who come with boomerangs and giant magnets), Aquamentus, and Dodongos.

Just like the Mario series, the Zelda series came with a few one-off characters who played important parts in the story of their episode. First, we have Prince Façade, a charming figure who tries to woo Zelda but turns out to be slimy and two faced. He generally just rode a horse and uses a shield and crossbow. Then we have Sing, a ninja warrior from a "distant land" hear to steal back her Pegasus that Ganon had stolen. Besides her Pegasus, she can leap really high and wields sai that can shoot beams. Up, next is Sleezenose, a pickpocket and con artist who carries a fake sword, can pick locks, drops beehives to load into a catapult, and fills boxes with bees. Doof was the castle's handyman and aspiring magician, who created an automaton that he brought to life, which could crush things in a bear hug and hop around on a broom. He also created a fake Moblin at one point. Then we have the Witch of Walls, who is . . . just kind of a wall with a face. And finally, we have the Water Monster, water from an enchanted fairy spring brought to life by Sprite's people when King Harkinian's water park unwittingly drained all the water from their spring. This monster could splash, flood areas, turn into a snake, crab, and fish shape, grab with a tentacle, and shoot lightning.

As for the stages, the series was fairly limited, most events taking place either at Zelda's Castle and the overworld surrounding it, and in Ganon's Lair and the underworld surrounding it. King Harkinian's water park is one of the few notable examples of any other prominent locations.

Here's what we've got so far:


Characters:

Link: kick, sword, sword beam, pillow, magic pouch, swing, shield, lasso, springboard, wind whistle, power bracelet, force field ring, surf on shield

Zelda: punch, reflect with a pan, grow with magic, launch from a tree, bow, boomerang, crossbow, raise on Triforce, ice, fire, shields, lemons, banana peels

Sprite

King Harkinian: water park, CDi games rep?

Ganon: teleport, lightning, summon enemies, bombs, fire, chains, crystal ball, suction, control jewel, capture staff, wand of power

Goriya: Possible catch-all for enemy representation here, as it is the most prominent enemy type in the show that has not yet gotten a moveset. If so, staff, bone bow, capture staff, bomb, frog transformation, boomerang, giant magnet.

Prince Façade: horse, shield, crossbow

Sing: Pegasus, leap, sai, sai beam

Sleezenose: fake sword, lockpick, beehives, bee catapult, box of bees

Doof/Automaton: automaton, animate, bear hug, broom, fake Moblin

Witch of Walls

Water Monster: splash, flood, snake, crab, fish, tentacle, lightning


Stages:

Zelda's Castle

Ganon's Lair

Water Park


Thanks for reading! Since it's really only the one show (Link and Zelda do make appearances in Captain N, but I'll go into that more later), let's cover some of the American comics that have come out, starting with the Valiant comics.

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