Monday, July 5, 2021

Super Mario Bros. (1993 Film)

SUPER MARIO BROS.


Now that we've covered all of the games (to the best of my knowledge), let's head on in to the movies. Now, first rule of thumb, every single piece of Mario-related film and television is absolutely 100% batsh*t insane, but in the best way possible. I had a freakin' blast watching every single one of these, but they are all kinds of stupid. Today, we will be covering the 1993 live action film starring Bob Hoskins, John Leguizamo, Samantha Mathis, and Dennis Hopper.

Right off the bat, we have our brothers, played by Hoskins and Leguizamo respectively. Much like most of these film/TV versions of the Mario brothers, they lean much more into the whole "plumber" aspect of the characters than any of the games ever did. (Honestly in the games, it's more of an aesthetic than anything). They drive a plumbers' truck and use plumbers' tools such as plungers, wrenches, and drills in combat scenarios. They also make use of Bob-Ombs, special super boots that give them their super jump, and fire a Bullet Bill from their shoes (don't ask). Mario also uses a large mushroom as a shield at one point.

As for our ally characters, we have Princess . . . Daisy? as portrayed by Samantha Mathis. Across the story, she doesn't do too much, but still some. Most of the properties of the fungus seen in the film can be ascribed to her, as . . . that's her father, and she also uses a fire extinguisher to great effect at one point. She also has a strong bond with Yoshi, who mostly just bites and uses his tongue here, so not quite enough alone. There is also Toad, but he gets turned into a Goomba early on, so I'd rather hold off until I'm talking about them.

We also have Mario's girlfriend from back in Brooklyn, with brown hair, and is seen wearing a purple dress for most of the movie. You all know who she is . . . Pauli--Daniella? What? Why? She's clearly based on Pauline? You had a perfectly good . . . Agh, whatever, her name is Daniella. She doesn't do much special, but hey, nice to see her. Sort of. Last but not least, we have Big Bertha, the fish--very large woman wearing a spiky dress who runs the Boom Boom Bar. Okay, why not? She is shown to be very strong and can pick up and throw people, punch hard enough to knock someone out, and supplies the brothers with the special boots and equipment as mentioned above.

On the villain side, we have President Koopa, played by Dennis Hopper, who plots to take over both the Dinosaur World and the human world with a de-evolution device and a de-evolution super scope gun. He also wields a regular gun at points, becomes a very poorly CGI'd T-Rex after being hit with his own ray, and rides around in what I assume was supposed to be the movie's version of a Koopa Klown Kar. He's also a massive germaphobe for some reason. I don't know.

Other villains include Lena, President Koopa's girlfriend played by Fiona Shaw (AKA Harry Potter's Aunt Petunia), who wields a knife at one point; Iggy and Spike, Koopa's cousins (as opposed to one of his children and the deepthroating enemy species, I guess), who knock people out with clubs, sabotage pipes, and drive around in a weird car at one point. We also have Anthony Scapelli, a mob boss who causes problems for the brothers back in the real world and ends up getting turned into a monkey (Making him, I guess, a weird mishmash of Donkey Kong, Wario, and Foreman Spike?).

Finally, we have President Koopa's minions, primarily the Goombas, de-evolved citizens of the Dinosaur World, who the moviemakers apparently interpreted their mushroom/chestnut design of the games to be gigantic lizard-dudes with shrunken heads wearing red trenchcoats (This movie baffles me sometimes, I swear). They use flamethrowers primarily. We also see regular members of Koopa's army using flashers and zap-sticks, and Snifits spraying the brothers with disinfecting gaze and covering them in goop.

As for stages, the opening act of the movie takes place in Brooklyn in the real world, primarily centered around a dig site where some dinosaur bones were discovered. Under this dig site, the sewer system leads our heroes to a dimensional rift that takes them to an alternate universe where the dinosaurs never died out but eventually evolved into humanoid beings (Okay . . . also, totally the same plot as Bakuryu Sentai Abaranger, just saying). The majority of the film takes place in a city called Dinohattan (sure), with other major areas including the desert outside the city, President Koopa's tower and his De-evolution chamber, his prison, and the Boom Boom Bar that Big Bertha runs.

Well, that was a trip and a half. Let's see what we've got!


Characters:

Mario: truck, drill, plunger, wrench, Bob-Omb, super boots, Devo gun, Bullet Bill, mushroom shield

Luigi: truck, drill, plunger, wrench, Bob-Omb, super boots, Devo gun, Bullet Bill, mushroom shield

Princess Daisy: Yoshi bite, tongue, fire extinguisher, fungus in the city

President Koopa: devo machine, devo gun, gun, clubs, car, T-Rex form, Klown Kar

Iggy and Spike: clubs, car

Big Bertha: pick up and throw, punch, Super Boots, Bob-Omb, Bullet Bill

Lena: knife

Toad/Goomba: flamethrower, gas, goop, flashers, zap sticks


Stages:

Brooklyn

Dig Site

Dimensional Rift

Dinohattan

Koopa's Tower

Boom Boom Bar

Desert


Items:

Fungus

Super Boots

Devo Gun

Bob-Omb


Thanks for reading! Next up, let's cover the Super Mario Bros. anime movie!

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