Character Sheet: Film Goomba

FILM GOOMBA

Today, let us begin a new era of character sheets. Not video game characters this time, but characters appearing in the Super Mario-based movies. We only have a few, but each was distinct enough on their own or from their video game counterparts to warrant a character slot of their own. Let's take a look:

1. Film Mario

2. Film Luigi

3. Film Daisy

4. Prince Haru

5. President Koopa

6. Film Goomba

7. Big Bertha

And now, let's cover the most . . . objectively bad, both ironically and unironically, character design of the film. Like, even if this wasn't a Mario movie and they weren't supposed to be Goombas, I have such a hard time seeing their final design passing any producer's desk and that producer saying "Ah, yes, this is a good creature design!" I just . . . don't understand how this thing ever came to be. That said, my rules are my rules and if a character makes a case for themselves, I can't say no. And, I mean, it's not like they're not iconic in their badness.

So, my thought is that Toad, as a Goomba, would be the main color swap, with other versions filling the other slots. Across the movie, they, as well as most of Koopa's other minions (though those are all basically just humans, so Goomba can stand as a representative of them all), use a number of weapons, including flamethrowers, flashers, and zap sticks, as well as the gas and goop used to disinfect the Mario brothers. It only just crosses the line of a case to be made, but again, a case is a case.

Here's the moveset I came up with:

Standard B: Flamethrower

Naturally, this would be its main weapon, as it is the weapon most specifically used by the Goombas in the movie. It would fire and a stream of flames would spread across the stage.

Side B: Zap Stick

This is a bit more of a close combat move. The Goomba would pull out the stick and lunge forward with it, striking and paralyzing its opponent with electricity.

Up B: Disinfectant Gas

The upward move was the most difficult, I admit, and if it's a bit too loose, those Super Boots can certainly fill the role just fine. I just went with this to differentiate a little. Basically it would shoot a stream of that gas down at the ground and launch itself up into the air.

Down B: Goop

This one makes use of the disinfectant goop used by Koopa and his soldiers. The Goomba would pull out a pail of it and slop it across the stage, making everything a bit slippery.

Final Smash: Devo Machine

You know what, stick with the T-Rex form for President Koopa. Then, my description of the Devo Machine alternate final, switch over to here. It would work perfectly well as its final smash.

Entrance: It would get up out of the Devo Machine chair.

Taunts: Up, it would pull out Toad's instrument and play a riff. Side, it would start to slow dance with itself just like that elevator scene. Down, it would lean forward a bit and let out a growl.

Thanks for reading! Next up, it's a personal favorite from the movie, Big Bertha!