Dark Matter Battle

DARK MATTER BATTLE

In most games, Kirby ends up finishing the game by fighting the true final boss, some otherworldly eldritch abomination bent on total universal annihilation. Almost always, these battles are fought in shadowy voids in the depths of space with strange lights and shadows all around.

The stage will be more or less that, a sort of Final Destination type, with strange creatures and objects flying around all the time, occasionally with Dark Matter or one of the many other final bosses showing up to cause mayhem, assuming they’re not already part of the battle. Sometimes even Master Hand and Crazy Hand might appear.

Possible theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1djWUF7EL_E

Captain Stitch

CAPTAIN STITCH

One of Kirby’s most recurring abilities is Needle, giving him a spiky cap that can shoot out spikes from it. This ability has come from all manner of sources, but one of the more memorable is a mid-boss form of the enemy Gordo, calling himself Captain Stitch.

As a fighter, Captain Stitch will be floaty but also heavy, with strong projectiles and damaging defense. His moveset will pull from all aspects of Needle.

Likelihood rating: Never gonna happen.

Masher

MASHER

In Dream Land 2, Kirby encounters a trio of powerful armored knights named Blade, Masher, and Butch. Though not particularly memorable, Masher would gain an expanded role in the anime as the most powerful monster in their catalog and would reappear in Blowout Blast as a mini-boss.

As a fighter, Masher would be big and powerful with heavy armor and devastating attacks. Its moveset would pull a bit from the games but primarily from the anime.

Likelihood rating: Probably not.

Waiu

WAIU

A mini-boss appearing mainly in Dream Land 2 and rarely after is a warrior named Waiu, offering up the Cutter ability of all things.

As a fighter, Waiu will be quick and stealthy, just like most ninjas. His moveset will pull from his main boss battle.

Likelihood rating: Never gonna happen.

Ice Dragon

ICE DRAGON

A boss that Kirby tends to fight here and there is the Ice Dragon, a large teal dragon with ice breath and a nasty temper.

As a fighter, the dragon will be big and powerful, if a bit slow and lumbering. Its moveset will pull from its main boss battles.

Likelihood rating: Probably not.

Blocky

BLOCKY

Though Rocky is the main source of Kirby’s Stone ability, a mini-boss has also been known to offer it up. This is Blocky, a large sentient block that tries to smash or roll into Kirby, squishing him flat.

As a fighter, Blocky will be an echo to Rocky, with his moves pulling from the Stone ability. However, he will be much bigger and heavier, with a bit more speed.

Likelihood rating: Piranha Plant clause.

Jumper Shoot

JUMPER SHOOT

Although the Parasol Waddle Dee represents the parasol best, a mini-boss based on the kasa-obake of Japanese folklore has offered it up a couple of times himself.

As a fighter, Jumpershoot will be an echo of Parasol Waddle Dee, its moveset pulling likewise from the parasol ability, albeit with a bit more strength behind it.

Likelihood rating: Never gonna happen.

Mr. Shine & Mr. Bright

MR. SHINE & MR. BRIGHT

Another recurring boss is a tag team between a living sun and a living moon. During their boss fights, one will linger in the air, raining down hazards from above, while the other will drop to the ground to fight Kirby personally, switching back and forth as needed.

As a fighter, their playstyle will mimic this, with one being on the ground at all times and a dedicated button for switching between them. Their movesets will pull from said boss battles.

Likelihood rating: Piranha Plant clause.

Chilly

CHILLY

Even more regularly, the Ice and Freeze ability will be represented by a cute living snowman named Chilly.

As a fighter, Chilly will be a bit on the slow side, made up for by its ability to freeze opponents in their tracks. It will be an echo of Pengy, its moves pulling from Ice and Freeze primarily.

Likelihood rating: Could happen.

Pengy

PENGY

Outside of Mr. Frosty, the Ice or Freeze ability is most often supplied by two regular enemies. The first is a little cartoon penguin called Pengy.

As a fighter, Pengy will be rather slippery and fast, able to slide around the stage with ease. Its moveset will pull from all variations of the Ice or Freeze ability.

Likelihood rating: Probably not.

Noddy

NODDY

Of course, not all copy abilities are going to be great, and one among them actively functions as a hazard. If Kirby swallows the sleeping Noddy, he will gain the Sleep ability, which will knock him out for a short time, making him vulnerable to all attack, but healing him of some damage.

As a fighter, Noddy will be slow and sluggish to control without a lot of power but good recovery. Its moveset will pull primarily from the Sleep Kirby moveset in Kirby Fighters 2.

Likelihood rating: Probably not.

Twister

TWISTER

Another of Kirby’s most common abilities is his Tornado ability, giving him the power of wind. Strangely, its most common contributor is a simple little top called a Twister.

As a fighter, the Twister will be small and light, constantly spinning to move around. Its moveset will pull from all the various aspects of the Tornado ability.

Likelihood rating: Never gonna happen.

Sparky

SPARKY

Along with fire, electricity is also common in most power systems, hence we have the Spark or Plasma ability, most often represented by the small green enemy, Sparky.

As a fighter, Sparky will be quick and erratic, mimicking the nature of its element. Its moveset will pull from all aspects of both the Spark and Plasma abilities.

Likelihood rating: Probably not.

Hot Head

HOT HEAD

What power system would ever be complete without a fire ability, and for Kirby’s copy abilities, that power is most often provided by the Hothead, a fiery little creature with a mouth for spouting said flames.

As a fighter, the Hothead will be small and fairly slow, with most of its attacks having an incendiary quality. Its moveset will pull from all aspects of the Fire and Burning abilities.

Likelihood rating: Probably not.

Kracko

KRACKO

In most sky-based levels, Kirby will encounter a giant cloud with a single eye at its center. This is Kracko, the second most recurring boss of the series after Whispy Woods.

As a fighter, Kracko will be top tier in terms of aerials, with some solid defense thanks to its clouds. After its defenses have been whittled, it will become Kracko Jr., with much less defense to it. Its moveset will pull from its various boss battles.

Likelihood rating: Piranha Plant clause.

Parasol Waddle Dee

PARASOL WADDLE DEE

Among all the random variations on the Waddle Dee, perhaps none is as common as the Parasol Waddle Dee, a Waddle Dee carrying around a parasol and the main provider of Kirby’s parasol ability.

As a fighter, this Waddle Dee will be the lightest and floatiest of the bunch, having great recovery abilities. Its moveset will pull entirely from all aspects of the Parasol ability throughout the series.

Likelihood rating: Probably not.

Whispy Woods

WHISPY WOODS

At the end of nearly every single first level of a Kirby game, Kirby will go up against a living tree named Whispy Woods, who attacks him by dropping fruit or breathing strong gusts of air.

As a fighter, Whispy Woods will be big and powerful, having pulled himself up by the roots as he has done multiple times. His moveset will pull from his multiple battles throughout the series.

Likelihood rating: Piranha Plant clause.

Poppy Bros

POPPY BROS

One of the most notable common enemies of the Kirby series are the Poppy Bros., who come in two forms: Junior, the standard enemy type, and Senior, a common mini-boss. Both regularly provide the Bomb ability.

As a fighter, Poppy Bros. will be a combination of both Senior and Junior, pulling in attacks from both. They will be quite speedy, but middling in other stats, made up for by their explosive arsenal.

Likelihood rating: Could happen.

Chuchu

CHUCHU

Kirby’s Dream Land 3 brought back the Animal Buddy gimmick, adding in three more buddies on top of the pre-existing three. The first of these was a small octopus that rode on Kirby’s head.

This is Chuchu. Most of her copy ability combinations made use of her tentacles and her squishy, stretchy body.

As a fighter, Chuchu will be a very slippery and quick little character with an erratic playstyle. Her moveset will pull from her various combos.

Likelihood rating: Probably not. There might be a non-Sakurai clause attached, since there does seem to be some bias there. I won’t be adding that for two reasons: A) I’d rather give the man the benefit of the doubt, and B) that would basically apply to all characters moving forward, so . . .

Dark Matter

DARK MATTER

Although, like the previous games, you’d believe that King Dedede is the main villain, upon his defeat, you discover that he was actually being controlled by a cosmic being of darkness.

This is Dark Matter, the closest we have to a true over-arching villain in the series. He would reappear in Dream Land 3 and Crystal Shards, with other villains hearkening back to him or being offshoots of him in some way.

As a fighter, Dark Matter would be large and floaty, with rather unique hitboxes. His moveset would pull from all of his various boss battles throughout the series, and would involve him separating off small parts of himself.

Likelihood rating: Could happen.