Character Sheet: Cranky Kong (DK Main Series)

CRANKY KONG

Here we, here we, here we go! So they're finally here, a-smashing for you. If you know their moves, you can join in too. Put your hands together if you want to clap, as we take you through this monkey roster:

1. Donkey Kong (Revision 1)
2. Diddy Kong
3. Dixie Kong
4. King K. Rool
5. Cranky Kong
6. Funky Kong
7. Tiny Kong
8. Lanky Kong
9. Chunky Kong
10. Kiddy Kong
11. Kritter
12. Krusha
13. Klump
14. Tucks
15. Tiki Tong
16. Lord Fredrik

Come on, Cranky! Take it to the fridge! Cranky Kong is Donkey Kong's grandfather and something of a mentor character to our heroes. All of his mentoring is filled with Boomer-style "kids these days don't know real blah-blah-blah" grouching, but it's there. Technically speaking, Cranky Kong is supposed to be the original Donkey Kong, whereas the current Donkey Kong is his grandson, giving the games a good way to talk about their arcade history and why these new games are different. It's clever, I must admit. Cranky is probably the only character after Donkey and Diddy to appear in all six games, though Tropical Freeze is the only game where he is playable.

Despite his single playable appearance, the old ape actually does quite a bit across all of his appearances. He uses a walking stick which he uses both to whack enemies with and as a pogo stick to bounce across dangerous terrain. In the very first cutscene of the first game, he uses dynamite against Donkey and Diddy. In Country 3, he throws rocks as part of a minigame hosted by Swanky Kong. In 64, he takes up being a mad scientist and supplies the heroes with potions that give them new abilities, and in Tropical Freeze, he can, um, shoot his dentures at people. Yeah.

So here's what I came up with:

Standard B: Dynamite

Being just a little bit too old to pull of a giant punch any more, Cranky will instead resort to tossing a live stick of dynamite at his opponents, which will then explode, blasting them away.

Side B: Barrel

I figure he has to keep something from his original iconic appearance. Cranky will throw out a large barrel, this barrel being distinctly designed to look like one from the original arcade game, rather than the basic ones of the modern Country franchise.

Up B: Pogo Stick

Cranky will bounce up and down on his pogo stick, being able to reach some impressive heights for an old man with a cane.

Down B: Dentures

Cranky will throw out his teeth which will clack open and closed, latching onto an opponent and biting them, doing some damage with every bite.

Final Smash: Mad Scientist

Cranky will hold up one of his ingenious potions, leading to a cutscene wherein he gives an opponent the potion, they drink it, and as a result experience the weird warping spasms the heroes went through in 64 upon drinking them.

Entrance: Cranky could break out of a barrel like the rest of them, though he could just be sitting on stage, cranking his gramophone like in the first game's cutscene. 

Taunts: Waving his stick around like a grumpy old man, making some comment about "kids these days." Maybe a secret taunt where he gives out hints.

Next up: Let's cover the coolest ape this side of the Northern Kremisphere, Funky Kong!