Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door

PAPER MARIO: THE THOUSAND-YEAR DOOR

This game is awesome. Possibly the best of the entire series. Everything great about the Paper Mario series, you can find on rich display here. Complex, layered characters, a solid plot, strong gameplay, and even some creative uses of the paper theme without it taking over literally anything else (cough, cough). The plot follows Mario and a new set of companions after Princess Peach is abducted, not by Bowser, but by a race of aliens from the moon seeking to awaken an ancient demon.

Once again, Mario is our protagonist. Within the battle system, most of his moves are varying levels of jumping on enemies and smacking them with a hammer, though this is also complemented by badges that give you stat boosts and items like fire flowers and sleepy sheep. Outside of battle, he gains new abilities in the form of "curses" that give him special paper-themed abilities, such as turning sideways to slip through tight spaces, turning into a paper airplane, turning into a paper boat, and rolling up to roll along the ground and under things.

Much like the star spirits in the first game, Mario has to collect seven crystal stars from each world, and each one grants him a new ability. He starts out with Sweet Treat that restores his HP and FP, then Earth Tremor which smashes the ground and creates an earthquake, Clock Out which immobilizes the enemy, Power Lift which boosts attack and defense, Art Attack which lets you draw a circle around the enemy to damage them, Sweet Feast which is Sweet Treat but bigger, Showstopper which takes out an enemy entirely, and Supernova, which rains falling stars down upon the enemy. A lot of really cool moves, but sadly there really isn't one good character to give it all too, and Mario has plenty of his own.

Mario's companions are once again representatives of various races and thus most of them will probably be color swaps for that race and their moves here will add to that. That said, this one does have a couple of unique allies, but let's get into it. Goombella is a spunky, young Goomba student researching the Crystal Stars. Her abilities are much like Goombario's, with a Headbonk, Tattle, and Multibonk move, alongside Rally Wink, which gives Mario a second turn. Koops is a Koopa trying to prove himself not a crybaby and rescue his dad. He is also similar to Kooper in his moves, with Shell Toss and Power Shell being basically the same, but can also summon a Shell Shield to protect himself and Mario, and Shell Slam which is similar to Parakarry's Air Raid.

Flurrie is a former starlet who isn't directly tied to any one race of enemy, but rather she bears general similarities to a number of cloud enemies from Mario games, such as Ruff Puffs and Ty Foos. Her moves include a Body Slam, blowing away enemies with a Gale Force, Lip Lock which is a kiss that steals HP, and Dodgy Fog which lowers an enemy's visibility. You also pick up a Baby Yoshi that you hatched from an egg. The Yoshi will flutter jump and ground pound, swallow an enemy whole, throw eggs at enemies, and call in a stampede of other Yoshis. Mario can also ride him outside of battle.

Vivian is probably your most unique ally, and could either fall in here or with her sisters in the villain category. Basically she and her sisters Beldam and Marilyn are Shadow Sirens, dark sorceresses who once served the demonic Shadow Queen and are working with the X-Nauts to free her. After suffering endless abuse at the hands of Beldam, Vivian ultimately rebels against her sister and joins Mario's side. While we will come back to the other Sirens and their Queen later, for now I will simply list Vivian's moves. She can use Shade Fist to punch an enemy and leave a magical burn, Veil to pull herself and Mario into the shadows and out of harm's way, Fiery Jinx to cast a fiery spell on all opponents, and Infatuate to confuse enemies with a blown kiss.

Now, we come to the final two. Admiral Bobbery is a retired old Bob-Omb sailor who helps you sail to a remote island. His moves include blowing himself up, setting up three time bombs, dealing damage to any enemies that attack him, and blowing himself up but even stronger. (Hmm, we just might have it. I'll have to think). Finally, we have Ms. Mowz, co-owner of the badge shop who moonlights as a thief scouring the world for rare badges. Her moves include straight up slapping an enemy, giving an enemy a kiss and stealing their items, hopping around to confuse the enemy, and giving Mario a kiss to restore his HP.

During the intermissions between chapters, we now have two segments: one for Princess Peach, who sneaks around the X-Naut base with the help of TEC-XX, an A.I. computer who fell in love with her after, um, watching her in the shower. Yeah. Most of her gameplay is pretty basic, just sneaking around, stealing items and sending messages to Mario. She also mixes up an invisibility potion and disguises herself as an X-Naut at points. The other segment features Bowser and Kammy Koopa traversing 2D platforming levels after finding out someone had the nerve to kidnap Peach besides him. Bowser can stomp, breathe fire, jump, bite, grow gigantic, and fly around in a Koopa Klown Kar throughout all this. Kammy simply flies her broom and cast spells. Luigi also appears throughout the game, every time with some new stories about an adventure he's been going on on his own, complete with his own companions including a Blooper, a Cherry Bob-Omb, a Spike Top mechanic, a Crazee Dayzee, and a ghost thing called Screamy.

Other major NPCs appear throughout the game, mostly inhabiting the game's worlds as civilians. These include Merlon, Merlee, and Merluvlee again, once again serving the purpose of powering up your companions, casting spells to boost your stats, and giving you hints. Other NPCs include Goombella's teacher Professor Frankly, Koops's father and girlfriend Koopie Koo, a race of tiny creatures called Punies and their age-old nemeses, the Jabbies, Toadsworth and Toadette, Don Pianta, his daughter Francesca and her husband Frankie, a female Toad working undercover at the Glitz Pit named Jolene, an egotistical explorer named Flavio, and a Bumpty inspector named Pennington. Parakarry and Lady Bow also return as cameos.

Our main villains include the extra-terrestrial X-Nauts and the Shadow Sirens, both working together to free an ancient demon known as the Shadow Queen. The X-Nauts are led by Sir Grodus and his general Lord Crump. Sir Grodus has kind of a moveset all his own, constantly surrounded by two bodyguards called X-Yuxes, who shield him and spit rings of energy at opponents. He can also fire off a lightning blast, summon blue fire, and stop time with his wand.

Lord Crump on the other hand, is more like a glorified regular X-Naut who commands the X-Naut armies. In regular fights, he can butt bash you, call in a horde of X-Nauts, use them to stack up, hang from the ceiling, and roll up into a ball. He also commands the giant mech Magnus von Grapple, which can launch its fists, stomp on you, fly through the air and drill straight down, throw a spinning disk, and suck up the audience to use as projectiles against you. He also commands a battleship at one point. Outside of Lord Crump, the X-Nauts have multiple varieties including doctors and elites, and will generally just tackle you, although they can also drink potions to give themselves stat boosts or throw potions at you.

Now we get back to the Shadow Sirens, Vivian and her sisters Beldam and Marilyn. All three can move through shadow, slap, punch, and boost each other's attacks. While Vivian's moves are primarily fire based, Marilyn has a more electric-based attack, and Beldam summons an icy wind. Their queen and the game's final boss is the Shadow Queen, an enormous demon possessing Peach's physical body who turns everything dark, is surrounded by hundreds of shadowy hands with which she can drag souls into her shadow and draw energy from them, and can fire off a disintegrating blast.

The game features a few other bosses here and there, such as Hooktail the dragon, who breathes fire and stomps on you and will eat the audience for energy; Rawk Hawk, the arrogant champion of the glitz pit who pulls off a number of flashy moves throughout the game including sliding kicks, a double flip, a superman slam, a prop drop from the ceiling, a healing drop shroom, and a drop stomp (basically he's a wrestler). He's also known to cheat and send opponents poisoned cakes and such. Then we have Grubba, the Spike, or Clubba, manager of the Glitz Pit who had been using a machine under the stage to steal power from the fighters for himself. When you fight him, he powers up to Macho Grubba and can butt bash, punch, and backflip you. Then we have Doopliss, a Duplighost who copies your form and can turn people into pigs; Cortez, a giant skeletal pirate who can bite or stab you, and attacks with a floating sword, spear, cutlass, and hook (a really good boss battle option); Smorg, a giant swarm that attacks a train; and two recolors of Hooktail: Bonetail and Gloomtail.

Now for our enemies. Most of them are returning enemies, such as: Goombas (with Paragoombas), Bloopers, Koopa Troopas and Paratroopas, Clefts of several varieties, Fuzzies, Dry Bones, Piranha Plants, Puffs, Piders, Pokeys, Lakitus, Spinies, Bandits, Bob-Ombs, Spike Tops, Magikoopas of several varieties, Hammer, Boomerang, and Fire Bros, Chain Chomps, Koopatrols, Crazy Dayzees, Boos, Swoopers, Embers and Lava Bubbles, Bullet Bills, and Buzzy Beetles. Newcomers include top-like Spinias, mace-like Bristles, X-shaped Yuxes, spear-wielding Craws, and Wizzerds who multiply. Also of note are the fighters of the Glitz Pit, roughly eighteen different combinations of the previously mentioned enemies.

Once again, the game is divided up into chapters, each of which hearken to various famous books, this time more obviously than the previous game. Rogueport is the main hub world of the game, a gritty port rampant with crime. The first chapter deals with a small town, Petalburg, being terrorized by a dragon from its castle. The second chapter covers a war between a bunch of tiny creatures all inside a giant tree in the Boggly Woods. The third hearkens to things like the Rocky movies, and sees Mario joining a tournament and working his way up to beating the champion in the Glitz Pit. The fourth takes place in Twilight Town, a town cursed to turn into pigs any time the bell tolls. The fifth chapter has a Gilligan's Island/Treasure Island sort of feel, as the heroes are marooned on a distant island, Keelhaul Key. Chapter six is a very obvious reference to things like "Murder on the Orient Express" and other Poirot/Sherlock novels, and takes place on the Excess Express and later Poshley Heights. And finally, chapter seven sees our heroes rounding up several Bob-Ombs to build a cannon to launch them to the moon, where the X-Naut Base is located. Finally, they manage to open the Thousand-Year Door and enter the Palace of Shadows, where the Shadow Queen was locked away.

The items in the game are generally similar to the items in the previous games, with a number of food, badges, elixirs, and other items that boost your stats or heal you, with Mushrooms, Fire Flowers, Repel Capes, and Mr. Softeners as items to use against the enemy.

Here's what we've got so far:

Characters:
Mario: jumping, fireballs, punch, hammer, koopa shells
Paper Mario: jump, hammer, companions, Star Spirits, badges, items like Fire Flowers and Sleepy Sheep, turn sideways, paper airplane, paper boat, roll up, Crystal Star powers
Luigi: various adventures
Princess Peach: therapy, group hug, sleepy time, mute, come back, psych bomb, slap, parasol, fan, frying pan, Sneaky Parasol, Twink, turn invisible
Bowser: Terrorize, Crusher, Bowser Crush, Poison Gas, throw Chain Chomp, drill glove, throw Mario, stomp, breathe fire, claw, Klown Kar, Star Rod, lightning, shockwave, bite, grow giant
Mallow: Thunderbolt, HP Rain, Psychopath, Shocker, Snowy, Star Rain, cymbals, froggie stick
Geno: Geno Beam, Geno Boost, Geno Whirl, Geno Flash, Geno Blast, pellets, shooting stars, rocket fists
Kammy Koopa: fly on broom, summon block, throw lightning
Yoshi: race, Ground Pound, Gulp, Mini-Egg, Stampede
Toad
Toadsworth
Toadette
Pianta
Star Spirits: Refresh, Lullaby, Star Storm, Chill Out, Smooch, Time Out, Up and Away, Focus, Star Beam, Peach Beam, Star Rod, lightning, shockwave
Merlon (and family): cast spell, lightning, tell future, divine secrets, trade, raise into the air, level up
Smithy: sledgehammer, meteor shower, drain, smelter, Tank Head, Magic Head, Treasure Head, Mask Head, build machines
Sir Grodus: cast lightning, blue fire, stomp time, X-Yux, shield
Lord Crump: butt bash, X-Naut horde, stack, ball, hang from ceiling, Magnus von Grapple, battleship
Axem Rangers: axes, bombs, petal blast, heal, freeze, electrify, mute, body slam, The Blade, breaker beam
Smithy Gang: Mack (fire), Bowyer (arrows, electricity), Yaridovich (spear, spells), Punchinello? (bombs)
Jr. Troopa: tackle, hide in shell, wings, head spike, spell, transform
Croco: steal, run away, bite, bombs, weird mushrooms
Booster: toy train, toy minions, card tricks, throwing knives, bouncing on a ball, killer Bundt cake
Birdo: shoot eggs
X-Naut: tackle, drink potion, throw potion
Johnny: trident, boost HP, drain, minions with spears, starfish, crabs, treasure chest, springs to get out of water, King Calamari
Valentina and Dodo: fly, peck, cancel moves, Petal Blast, Diamond Saw, Blizzard, Water Blast, Aurora Flash, Light Beam, Solidify
Culex: Shredder, Dark Star, Flame Stone, Meteor Blast, fire crystal, water crystal, earth crystal, wind crystal
Koopa (Kooper/Parakarry/Koops): Shell Toss, Power Shell, Dizzy Shell, Fire Shell, Sky Dive, Shell Shot, Air Lift, Air Raid, Shell Shield, Shell Slam
Goomba (Goombario/Goombella): Headbonk, Tattle, Charge, Multibonk, Rally Wink
Spiny
Lakitu (Lakilester): Spiny Flip, Spiny Surge, Cloud Nine, Hurricane
Hammer Bro
Shy Guy: Groove Guy, Sky Guy, Medi Guy, Spy Guy, Gourmet Guy, Pyro Guy, Spear Guy, General Guy
Cheep Cheep (Sushie): Belly Flop, Squirt, Water Block, Tidal Wave
Boo (Lady Bow): Smack, Outta Sight, Spook, Fan Smack
Piranha Plant
Bob-Omb (Bombette/Bobbery): Body Slam, Bomb, Power Bomb, Mega Bomb, Bomb Squad, Hold Fast, Bob-Ombast
Chain Chomp
Dry Bones
Blooper
Lil Sparky (Watt): Electro Dash, Power Shock, Turbo Charge, Mega Shock
Pokey
Monty Mole
Bandit
Tiny Mouser (Ms. Mowz): Love Slap, Kiss Thief, Tease, Smooch
Buzzy Beetle
Spike: clubs, butt bash, eat ghosts, heart, butt bash, punch, back flip, power up
Koopatrol
Duplighost (Doopliss): shape shift, turn into pigs
Flurrie: Body Slam, Gale Force, Lip Lock, Dodgy Fog
Vivian/Shadow Sirens: Shade Fist, Veil, Fiery Jinx, Infatuate, slap, punch, boost, electricity, icy wind
Shadow Queen: shadow hands, steal energy, spread darkness, possess Peach, disintegrating blast
Rawk Hawk: sliding kick, double flip, superman slam, prop drop, drop shroom, drop stomp, cheat

Bosses:
Belome
Exor
Smithy
Mega Smilax
Czar Dragon
Etc.
Goomboss
Koopa Bros.
Tutankoopa
Tubba Blubba
General Guy
Lava Piranha
Huff N. Puff
Crystal King
Hooktail
Cortez
Macho Grubba
Bonetail
Gloomtail
Shadow Queen

Stages:
Mushroom Kingdom
Tadpole Pond
Forest Maze
Yo'ster Island
Mole Mountains
Booster Tower
Sea Side
Star Hill
Sunken Ship
Land's End
Nimbus Land
Barrel Volcano
Bowser's Keep
Smithy's Factory
Peach's Castle
Toad Town
Star Sanctuary
Bowser's Castle
Goomba Village
Koopa Village
Mt. Rugged
Dry Dry Desert
Forever Forest
Boo's Mansion
Gusty Gulch
Shy Guy's Toy Box
Lavalava Island
Flower Fields
Cloudy Climb
Shiver Mountain
Crystal Palace
Rogueport
Petal Meadows
Hooktail Castle
Boggly Woods
Glitz Pit
Twilight Town
Church Steeple
Keelhaul Key
Excess Express
Poshley Sanctum
Fahr Outpost
The Moon
X-Naut Base
Thousand-Year Door
Shadow Palace

Items:
Badges
Mushrooms
Lots of Food
Fire Flower
Sleepy Sheep
Thunderbolt
Snowman Doll
Stop Watch
Too many to list

Thanks for reading! Next up, we'll cover Super Paper Mario!